My kelpie was a great dog,
And the kids named him Midge,
They even trained him perfectly,
To get my beer from the fridge.

Oi! Listen here’s the postie,
Go on, go and get the mail,
And I’ll give your bloody arse a kick,
If you slobber like a snail.

Righto Midge, fetch your lead,
Where goin’ for a walk,
We’ll go across the paddocks,
There’s some rabbits you can stalk.

Now here’s some real good tucker,
Meat with marrowbone jelly,
No! You’d rather have that rotten bone,
Because it’s all nice and smelly.

Oi! Midge, its shampoo time,
Absolutely, nothing for you to fear,
And at the mere mention of water,
Old Midge would disappear.

But I loved that big old doggie,
He was a friend and a mate,
He got bitten by a tiger snake,
His inquisitiveness was his fate.

Now I miss calling for old Midge,
It’s hard not having him here,
Nowadays I yell at the missus’,
“Come on” where’s me beer.