One beautiful angel has gone on tour
For reasons unknown
And
Feeling good is hard
When
Another angel takes a glimpse at heavens road
As wonderful as love is the fear of death
Keeps stalking
And I ponder what it seeks from me
Has my lost faith attracted a God?
Albeit too late
Is this the punishment?
Feeling good is hard
So hard
Am I not an angel’s keeper
Not worthy perhaps
Are they all destined to be Angels?
Feeling good is hard
No point thinking that life gets better
It’s more of the same
Why take more responsibility and
Bury another
I am the traveller now
No more the travel agent
No more the dreamer of eternity
I am at my place
All my greatest loves are elsewhere
And
I should push on
Lest they start without me
A party to end all parties
God knows and only he views
The road ahead with clear vision
For I am unsighted
Fragments of love shatter me
Betwixt and between
The past and the future
Is life this sad that we cannot start again?
Beyond grief
And the winds of change make me stay
Is my loyalty so glued?
Is my sadness so controlling
That love has left me
Life begins again with this broken heart
And her absence is still controlling
My emotions waver uncontrollably
Through heartache then to joy for her celebrated life
And
Then to despair for the loss of it
I am in limbo
I am in wait
Whatever we had was magic
Greater than all before
Greater than all again
My
Rock
My
Angel
Awaits
And as unselfish as she is
Typically
She will tell me to take my time
Death has a different meaning
Life is treasured
Family are sacred
Animals matter
Grandkids are special as are sons and daughters
Mothers are forgiven
Fathers are missed
Siblings are more important now than ever
And
In-laws are a rock
Life is so short
I have been caught out by Nerine
She passed quickly without a word
But never without my love
I know mate
We just don’t see Mum anymore
I know you watch the windows
Listen for the garage door
And
When you lie beside her bed
I know
She’s not there anymore
I know mate
The big white car doesn’t come home
And
Turn into the drive
You don’t bounce out to the shed
Anymore
As though she was alive
It’s breaking me mate
And
I know you’re just a dog
But it’s breaking you
We both loved mum my boy
And
I desperately wish I could explain
Why?
Mum won’t be back again
Its okay I said
You must feel you have made it
Still smoking in your eighty third year
He cleared his throat
Coughed
Spat
And spluttered his response
All this kafuffle
“Son” he said
Smoking’s done me good
It stopped me from killing myself
At least one hundred times
It reduced my dependence on alcohol
And saved me from counselling
It kept me calm after the war
All this kafuffle
I possibly killed twenty people
Who chose to trust my poisoned air?
But I always thought they loved me
And
My grandchild now has emphysema
The boy has never smoked
I sat him on my knee often
I took him for drives in my car
He loved Grandpa rolling a smoke
My wife died of lung cancer at fifty
She never smoked
Never whinged
That’s life son he said
What’s
All this kafuffle
You tell me my good friend
Are these not curious days
Thou shalt worship who
Not god
There is no god
The devil is with you give him his due
So shalt thou show me the devil on earth?
O’ speak
But not for god’s sake
Sing no praise for he is not
The man hath no credibility
Not with thou
For he offended and took my angel
Nerine
In sadness I despise I disbelieve
The thief of life
O’er all my teaching the assination of my mind
By Catholics
And now I triumph on my own
Without thee
Today I am broken
And
If you think tough helps
Dream on
It’s been months
And
I am so gutted
Still
Numb
Mentally folded
For my best friend
Who refuses to come back?
Annus horribilus again
I feel like going
Where she is
I am sad tonight
My heart is dying
My faith has died
And
Running away seems an idea
Do you think it’s tough right now?
For me and the dog
Mum’s gone
It’s bloody tough
And
The dog searches like a sniffer dog
For any trace of his missing friend
Like me
He lives in hope
A big white car will come
And
The nightmare will be over
A family will be restored
A dog will be happy
And
A husband will believe at last
There is a God
A heaven
And
Miracles do exist
Rather than this hell on earth