There’s a little house in Maketu,
Full of wonderful stuff,
Built by my wife’s eccentric brother,
A bushie, pleasantly rough.

There’s home brew on the floor,
And a TV for the sport,
The notice board records it all,
A diary covers every thought.

There’s a barfridge on power,
That uses valuable space,
Cos’ the homebrew is air cooled,
It’s just that kind of place.

Theres a phone line from the house,
Which runs to the Red square,
And if you ring and ask for Trev,
You’ll always catch him there.

Important business, daily duties,
Where a woman must not pry,
Only done in the Red Square,
Don’t ever ask him why.

And what about the urinal,
He built between shed and fence,
Where men stand and women squat,
Sure makes a lot of sense.

Come and have a drink with me,
Is Trev’s very friendly pledge,
In the Red Square guest’s centre,
Surrounded by a hedge.

It’s wonderful to listen,
Drink home brew, settle in,
As Trev regales fabulous stories,
Involving kith and kin.

And when I married his sister,
T’was a wedding present fair,
Life bloody membership,
To the fabulous Red Square.

Have you got clean undies on?
She would ask in a funny way,
And I would have to remind her,
That I wore them yesterday.

What if you get run over?
What will people think?
I’ll be the talk of the neighbourhood,
You’ll cause a flamin’ stink.

Actually mum I’ve yesterday’s on,
Cause’ I only have two pair,
So I juggle with me brothers,
But they’re not too keen to share.

So Wednesday I wear Mondays,
And Tuesday I wear none,
That’s the best day of the week,
The girls all have some fun.

And Old Betty said you’re wicked,
An embarrassment to me,
To go to school without y – fronts,
For all the girls to see.

Mum, we’ve got thirteen kids,
I reminded Old Betty too often,
But your attitude on my undies,
Surely you could soften.

I don’t have any income Ma,
I wear only what you give,
So if I happen to get run over today,
Your embarrassed, but you live.

Don’t, Worry about me though,
I could be killed,
As long as I had clean undies on,
I’m sure that you’d be thrilled.

At primary school he loved a girl,
But he never spoke one word,
That would give her any inkling,
Of this romantic nerd.

He followed her to high school,
And yet again too shy,
He let the woman that he loved,
Simply pass him by.

Off to Melbourne University,
He was just one room up the hall,
But he was still too scared to tell her,
Of his love, for fear he’d fall.

At the Graduation ceremony,
He thought she passed a glance,
Now would he tell her of his love,
No, again he missed his chance.

She went on and married,
And he still wonders why,
That he never told her of his love,
Because he was way too shy.

All do I love and will do till my death,
And I will take thy friendship and boast,
My family, unshunnable, my institution,
Tis’ thee I love the most.

Upon you all, be there bliss,
Deserved and so apt,
What friendship can I return thee?
Thy brother would be rapt.

Thine sisters and brothers I love,
Thou absence the thief of happiness,
Distance doth merit sweet sorrow,
Perchance togetherness I bless.

I will wish to join thee all today,
What says praise it be possible,
For here lies that lonely heart,
For the great Paolo, impossible!

Paolo copyright 1979